My Lips Are Sealed

Welcome back!! Sorry it's been awhile since I last posted. It's much easier doing a blog when the hubby is out of town. (He was out of town last week when I started my blog.) Anyways, I'm so glad you are back! :) How many of you took the challenge to look for all the things good about your relationship? How many took notes about all the little things your spouse does that you love? I'd love to hear about it and how it helped your relationship grow! :)

 So, lately, I've been thinking about how so many people, now a days, make their whole relationship public. We all know the couples that go from "in a relationship", to "it's complicated", to "single", then back to "in a relationship", on their Facebook profiles . All with the same person. This may hurt some feelings, but this is ridiculous. We do not all need to know ALL of your business. Your relationship is between you and your spouse, not both of you and all of cyber space. What upsets me more is when you hear a spouse constantly tearing down their spouse to other people or even online. They tell you about every argument they have. They tell you everything their spouse has ever done wrong. Tell you all the things they hate about their relationship. Tell you how they never have sex anymore. Tell you their spouse is lazy. The list goes on and on. Quite frankly it's tiresome to hear about it. It saddens me, that they both have allowed their relationship to even get to that point. Yes, I said both. It takes two people to make a relationship work, and it takes two people to allow one to fail.

Keep your business, exactly that, your business. When you have a disagreement with your spouse, deal with it together. Talk, discuss, overcome. You may even have it to sleep on it, but definitely work it out. (Side note: that saying about "Never go to sleep mad at each other", that's a bunch of bologna. I personally think it's better to give yourself time to calm down, think about the whole situation, think about how you are going to discuss and handle it, think about what you did wrong, and how you can fix it. That, to me, is much better than staying up all night fighting, and saying things you wish you never had. But like I said, that's my personal opinion.)

Don't go running to your mom, sister, best friend, aunt, cousin or anyone, every time you are in an argument or disagreement. This causes others to get involved in your relationship, which is not good, especially if they only know one side of the story. I know, we as women always seem to feel so much better when we have someone else sharing our feelings or get someone to tell us what a jerk our spouse is being. But, like I said, this is not a good thing. Why, you ask? For one, as I mentioned before, it's between you and your spouse, and only you and your spouse. It also causes whoever you talked to about the issue, to see your spouse in a negative light. (You should want others to think of your man as the best/sweetest man, not a jerk.) Also, once we get things figured out with our spouse, we very rarely go running back to the person we complained to, to let them know that everything is fixed and everything is great again. Therefore, that person may still be thinking negative about your spouse/relationship and then the next time you run to them, the next complaint will add to their thoughts as well. As I said before, no one needs to know that much of your business. You end up getting to much input from others (mostly negative, I'm sure) and all it usually does is upset you more with your spouse. It gives you that temporary satisfaction, but solves nothing. 

We as women need to be encouraging, uplifting, and positive when speaking to our man and about our man. They love it! :) Personally, I love sharing to others what sweet thing Seth did for me that day or that I'm proud of his accomplishments and the man he that he is. I don't do it to brag, I do it because I'm proud of the man I call my husband. Do you want to know something I noticed the other day? I noticed that the more I speak positive of my husband or, in his eyes, "brag" about him, the more he does those sweet things. As I said before, men love it! Men want to feel respected by their lady, and in return they show love to her. (If you haven't already read it, I highly recommend the book Love & Respect. Click here for more info and to learn more about how men and women feel loved.) 

Be cautious of what you say about your husband. Do not join in the conversation, at work, when all the ladies are complaining about their husbands. Simply walk away, or when they ask you about your man, don't add in by saying negative things, but say something positive about him. If you continually speak negative about him, you will start thinking negative about him. You don't want your man to be at work complaining to all his buddies about you, do you? So why then, do you think it's OK for you to do it? Both of you need to be aware of what you say about each other and to each other. Words are extremely powerful. It's not worth it to ruin your relationship, because you could not keep your lips sealed.

Remember: Keep control of your lips and be mindful of what you say. Do you want to be a positive person in your man's life, or a negative person? Just some food for thought. Go out there and be uplifting and encouraging to your man and those around you!

Have a great weekend! :)