5 Simple Ways to Stay Connected with Your Spouse

For most of us, our lives are full blown hectic. My husband and I don't even have kids yet and our weekly schedules are completely full, pulling us in all directions. It can be extremely difficult for us to find time to connect with one another. This is probably common for most couples, especially those with children and/or demanding schedules.

One of my biggest fears is that one day Seth and I will allow life to come inbetween our relationship...but only if we let it. You see, this is a choice. We can choose to work extremely hard to make our relationship a priority or we can just let life happen and hope we magically stay close and connected. My guess is that we'll have a better chance of staying connected if we choose to make it our priority. 

All this said, I've decided to list out 5 simple things we do to stay connected. (I realize all or some won't necessarily work in every relationship, but as a whole, I feel they are effective.)

1. Greet/Depart From Each Other with a Hug and a Kiss

It's easy in all the hustle and bustle to rush out the door for work and forget to kiss one another. Or walk-in the door and start fixing dinner, walk the dog, turn on the TV, or whatever the case may be, yet we've barely acknowledged one another. Taking the few seconds to just stop and give each other a hug and a kiss will make a huge impact on your relationship. Not a day goes by that Seth or I leave the house without a hug, kiss and "I love you". Now, coming home and having to rush out the door for the next thing on the agenda makes the greeting part a little more tricky, but we still catch ourselves when we don't make it happen. Most the time we'll be driving down the road and one of us will say, "hey, I don't think we kissed each other yet", then lean in for a quick kiss. 

I once read that most couples don't even kiss for 15 seconds a day. I was completely shocked, because I feel like we're a "kissy" couple. I just knew that Seth and I kiss way more than that, so I put us to the test. Surprising, 15 seconds is a lot longer than we realized and it was harder than we thought. Give it a try! (Nothing a good makeout session can't fix though ;) haha) 

2. Connect Throughout the Day

Most of us work 8-10+ hours a day, which means we're apart from our spouse, during our awake hours, more than we are with them. That in itself can cause unintentional disconnection. Not that we need to start working together or quit our jobs just so we can spend every waking moment together, but we need to make an effort to connect during those times apart. For my hubby and I, this mean we call each other around lunch every day. It may be a 5 second or 5 minute conversation, but it's connection regardless. It tells us that we are thinking about the other person and want to see how each other's day is going. It gives us a chance to say "I love you" an extra time. And it gives us the chance to encourage each other if our days aren't going so great. I look forward to those lunch time chats. It can also be a simple "I love you" text, a "you're hot and I miss you" Facebook message, or even "I hope you're having a good day". Something simple to show you're thinking about them and you care. 

3. Sit Down and Have Dinner Together

Many nights we aren't home for dinner, but the nights we are, we always, always, always sit at the dinner table and eat together. I'll be honest, sometimes we chat a little and scroll on Facebook a lot, but most of the time we make an effort to talk to each other. It's an elementary thing to do, but it's something that's been slowly creeping away from most of our lives with our busy society. It allows us to sit down, look at each other, and open up about our days, laugh, tell stories, or share what's on our heart/mind. 

4. Go to Bed at the Same Time 

I'm honestly not sure how or why we started this, but I'm grateful that we did. Every single night we crawl into bed at the same time. This allows for the chance to talk, snuggle, watch some tv and, of course..."sexy time". Not that every night has to or will be "sexy time", but if you don't allow any opportunity for that to happen, than chances are, it won't happen. Just saying.

When you see or hear of other couples that go to bed at the same time, you will see a difference in their relationship than those that don't. I think that is one of the reasons we do this. When you see people doing something or being like someone you want to be, take notes of their actions and follow suit. Don't act like those that have the lives/relationships that you don't want to have. Simple as that. 

6. Take a Vacation with Each Other Once a Year

This obviously isn't a thing that you do every day to stay connected, but it's very important that couples do this. We're not rolling in the dough, but we make this a priority and budget for them accordingly. When I say vacation, it doesn't have to be a week long expensive trip, it can be a  staycation or a cheap weekend getaway, something where you disconnect from every day life and just focus on each other. No kids, no jobs, no stress, just each other and relaxing fun. We've done this for all 5 years of our marriage. Here are all the varieties of our getaways:

Honeymoon: 1 week to Meixco

Staycation: weekend at a friends beach house free of charge

Florida: won a 2 day stay in Daytona and 3 day stay in Orlando

Overnight stay: Spent the day in a little town an hour north of us, spent the night, and came home the following day

Cruise: 7 day cruise for our 5 year anniversary

There are many varieties in cost, length and type. Don't let the fear of time, money or how extravegant it is, deter you from planning a getaway. It's worth the money, just budget for it. If you want 20+ years of marriage, you realize that takes time, which means you realize time is important and it's okay to take time away from work and life to invest in your marriage. As for the extravegant part, my examples should prove how un-extravegant it has to be. All your spouse will care about is the fact that you care enough about them to spend the time, money and effort to make it happen. As Nike says..."Just Do It". 

I would love for you to share how you and your spouse stay connected. My suggestions may not work for some, but yours might! :)