Mother's Day is
right around the corner. A day we get to celebrate all of the wonderful
moms in our life. A day to say a special "thank you" to the women who
love us and have sacrificed so much for us. A day we honor all of the
moms in our life for all that they do and have done. A special day. A
happy day.
Well, for most.
Sadly,
for the first time in my life, I'm kind of dreading Mother's Day. I'm
already anxious and sad about the Sunday that's quickly approaching. And
my sadness has nothing to do with my mom. You see, my mom is still
alive, I have a great relationship with her - she's one of my best
friends and she lives close by. So why would I be sad and anxious about
Mother's Day?
I'm sad about Mother's Day this year because I don't have a child (in my arms) to share it with.
Most
of you reading this have no idea - but Seth and I have been battling
infertility for almost 2 years now and earlier this year we lost a baby.
A baby that we tried for over a year and a half to have. A baby we
prayed and prayed for. A baby that we desperately wanted. A baby that
meant the world to us. A baby we loved more than I ever thought
possible. A baby we never got to meet.
No
matter what, I know I'm a mom - a mom to our sweet heaven baby. But my
heart aches for that baby as we approach Mother's Day and I think about
the fact that I'll never be able to spend Mother's Day with that child.
I'll never be able to watch them grow up, help them with homework or
kiss them goodnight. Even though I'll never get to do those things with
our heaven baby, I'm grateful for the short time I was able to carry,
grow and nurture our baby. That in and of itself was a miracle and a
blessing.
If
you're struggling with infertility or you've experienced child loss of
any kind, my prayers are with you this Mother's Day. I pray you find
peace and comfort. I pray you know that you are not alone - you're
honored, celebrated and loved on this special day.
Great post! We miscarried our first baby. That was in early April 2010. I remember sitting in church on Mother's Day that year and they called for all the mother's to stand and I just bawled. The pain of losing a baby is awful, I'm so sorry you had to experience that ESPECIALLY after dealing with infertility--i can't imagine how that feels. ❤❤
ReplyDeleteWow! Thank you so much for sharing your own struggle with Mother's Day. And I'm so very sorry for your loss also. You're right, the pain of losing a child is unexplainable, but knowing you aren't alone in your feelings helps with the healing process. So thank you!
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ReplyDeleteI just read your "invisible mom" post and this and I want to thank you for sharing. You arnt alone. Mother's Day this year was hard for me too. I didn't know what my place was. As I am also an invisible mom. We lost our first at 17 weeks June 1st 2016. We are quickly approaching the year marker for that. I can honestly say it is the hardest thing we have ever been through. praying for you. Thank you again for sharing. "Invisible mom" post really helped me and is just what I needed to read! https://englishsmithblog.wordpress.com/
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