"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..." 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a
Love means something different to each person. Each person feels love differently than the next. We all want to be loved, feel love, give love and receive love. Often times, we only know how we feel loved, so we show love to others in the same manner. That is great. Don't stop loving on others (unless, of course, if it's in a creepy way haha). It is better to pour love on others the wrong way (so to speak) than not at all.
What I mean, by the wrong way, is that not every person feels love in the same manner. If you read "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, you will further understand exactly what I mean by that. It's very insightful and a "must read" in my opinion. If you are not much of a reader (like myself), just take the quiz, in the back of the book or online, to find out you and your spouses love languages.
In this book, the love languages you learn about include: physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service and receiving gifts. It helps you pinpoint which ones are your personal love languages, i.e. how you feel loved. It also helps you determine your spouses love languages. This is extremely beneficial in understanding how your husband or wife "ticks", so to speak. For example, my love languages go in this exact order of importance: quality time and physical touch are tied for first, then words of affirmation, followed by acts of service. Receiving gifts did not even place, for me. To sum this up, I love to be felt up by my man, while spending time with him, as he's telling me how great of a wife I am, all while helping me clean the house and I could care less if he bought me a present or not. Okay, not really...but, maybe. ;) Haha.
Over the next few days, I'll explain what each love language means, one by one.
Quality Time
This is extremely important in my personal relationship, and maybe yours too. The key to this is not time, but quality. You see, I spend a lot of time with my husband. We live together, sleep together, spend time with family and friends together, and go to church together. All of this is a lot of time, but lacks the quality. What I, personally, need in my relationship is quality time. I need that, one-on-one, alone time with my man. Even if it means just snuggling up watching TV, it's our time. I love it. Recently, we choose one day out of the week to designate time for just the two of us. It helps us become more mindful for the time we spend with each other. It's easy to fill up your schedules, allowing no quality time for each other, but hard to squeeze that quality time in. Find time for and with each other, especially if quality time is either of your love languages.
Here is another big tip (for all the love languages), just because your love language may be quality time, doesn't mean it's his. His love language may be words of affirmation. So, here comes the tricky part. As I mentioned before, it's easy to show love to someone in the way you feel loved. The issue though, is that they won't receive it as love, if it's not their love language as well. You have to be mindful of that. It's extremely challenging, but incredibly beneficial.
For example: If Seth's love language was receiving gifts (it's not), and I clearly don't feel loved by receiving gifts, I may not think about giving him a gift. But, it's not about me, it's about him. So I should put time and effort into giving him gifts, to show him I love him. Do what makes him feel loved, not what makes you feel loved, and vice versa.
It will make a world of difference in all of your relationships, if you just take the time to figure out how those around you feel loved. Even though, they may not be your love languages, it will still make you feel great when you make the ones you love, feel loved.
Have an amazing week! :)
(Here is the website for the book I recommended: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/)
Monday, January 14, 2013
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Life Is Short
**I wrote this blog almost a week ago, but didn't feel I was ready to post it. After yesterday's horrible tragedy, I feel now is the right time. My heart and prayers go out to all those children and their families affected by the Elementary School shooting in CT. Such an extremely sad and heart breaking situation. **
As I mentioned in my last post, I have been really thinking hard about what I should post about next. I have a few great ideas for future posts, but I just haven't had the feeling that they should be discussed at this time. What should I talk about? What needs to be said? What is burdening my heart? I finally figured it out. Actually, I knew it all along, but I didn't feel it "flowed" with the rest of my blog. Well, I guess God believes otherwise, because He has truly burdened my heart for this topic.
Life is short.
I'm not really the emotional type. It's almost been an ongoing joke with my family and friends, due to the lack of my emotions. They joke that I have a hard heart or that my tear ducts are broken. Truth is, I may become overwhelmed by something, but I just don't feel the sensation to cry over it. I cry more when I'm angry or when someone passes away, but not when I hear something sad. But lately, every time I've heard a sad story, or that yet another person is sick with a terminal illness, or that someone lost a spouse, child or loved one, I have felt completely overwhelmed, almost to the point of tears. (No, I'm not pregnant.) I'm not sure if God is just softening my heart or that maybe He's opening my eyes more, or maybe it's age. Not that I'm at all old, but age does make you realize a lot more, you're less carefree. What I guess I'm getting at, is that I realize life is so incredibly short. We all take so much for granted. We especially seem to take for granted the time we have with those in our lives. (I guess this is how this topic "flows", with the rest of my blog.)
When this realization started sinking in, it really hit home. At least, for me. I started realizing how much quality time I don't spend with my spouse, parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, in-laws, grandparents and so on. There are so many instances, in life, that could happen in a blink of an eye to change whether or not those loved ones are with you anymore. Life is short. I'm not saying live life in fear, for that is no way to live. I'm saying be mindful of the time you do have here. Spend it with those you love most. Enjoy your time with them. Laugh as much as you can. Love with all of your heart. Don't hold grudges. Forgive.
Often times, I feel that we think we have all the time in this world. But, we don't. No one is guaranteed the next second, much less the next 10 years. I'm mostly speaking to myself when I say this, but don't let life get in the way. Tell those you love, that you love them. Don't fret over the little things in life. Don't argue about everything that annoys you. Always kiss your spouse, even when you are angry. Always hug them and let them know how much they mean to you. It may be the last time you have that chance.
I know this all may sound so sad and somber, especially when there is so much in life that's good and exciting. That's kind of my point though. Don't let your worries, work and wants get in the way, allowing you to take for granted all the great things that are already in front of you. Be mindful of what God has blessed you with, and more importantly, who God has blessed you with.
Aside from God, there is nothing I love more than family. The relationships I have with them, the memories we've made and the life (good and bad) that we have gone through together. Yes, I have been hurt many times by family, as we all have. But I'm starting to let that go, with God's help. I'm starting to realize the importance of family and friends and I'm going to challenge myself to really focus on cherishing all the good times we share. We need to let go of what/who may have hurt us, and forgive. Life is short.
If each of us were to truly live each day as our last, as cliche as it may sound, we would have completely transformed relationships. Our marriages would look different, our family dynamics would look different and the relationships with our friends would look different. All these differences would be positive and encouring to others.
I am going to hold myself accountable for the way I view and treat the relationships I have. I will not only love with all I have, but I will enjoy every minute and I will forgive. I hope you will too. Life is short.
As I mentioned in my last post, I have been really thinking hard about what I should post about next. I have a few great ideas for future posts, but I just haven't had the feeling that they should be discussed at this time. What should I talk about? What needs to be said? What is burdening my heart? I finally figured it out. Actually, I knew it all along, but I didn't feel it "flowed" with the rest of my blog. Well, I guess God believes otherwise, because He has truly burdened my heart for this topic.
Life is short.
I'm not really the emotional type. It's almost been an ongoing joke with my family and friends, due to the lack of my emotions. They joke that I have a hard heart or that my tear ducts are broken. Truth is, I may become overwhelmed by something, but I just don't feel the sensation to cry over it. I cry more when I'm angry or when someone passes away, but not when I hear something sad. But lately, every time I've heard a sad story, or that yet another person is sick with a terminal illness, or that someone lost a spouse, child or loved one, I have felt completely overwhelmed, almost to the point of tears. (No, I'm not pregnant.) I'm not sure if God is just softening my heart or that maybe He's opening my eyes more, or maybe it's age. Not that I'm at all old, but age does make you realize a lot more, you're less carefree. What I guess I'm getting at, is that I realize life is so incredibly short. We all take so much for granted. We especially seem to take for granted the time we have with those in our lives. (I guess this is how this topic "flows", with the rest of my blog.)
When this realization started sinking in, it really hit home. At least, for me. I started realizing how much quality time I don't spend with my spouse, parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, in-laws, grandparents and so on. There are so many instances, in life, that could happen in a blink of an eye to change whether or not those loved ones are with you anymore. Life is short. I'm not saying live life in fear, for that is no way to live. I'm saying be mindful of the time you do have here. Spend it with those you love most. Enjoy your time with them. Laugh as much as you can. Love with all of your heart. Don't hold grudges. Forgive.
Often times, I feel that we think we have all the time in this world. But, we don't. No one is guaranteed the next second, much less the next 10 years. I'm mostly speaking to myself when I say this, but don't let life get in the way. Tell those you love, that you love them. Don't fret over the little things in life. Don't argue about everything that annoys you. Always kiss your spouse, even when you are angry. Always hug them and let them know how much they mean to you. It may be the last time you have that chance.
I know this all may sound so sad and somber, especially when there is so much in life that's good and exciting. That's kind of my point though. Don't let your worries, work and wants get in the way, allowing you to take for granted all the great things that are already in front of you. Be mindful of what God has blessed you with, and more importantly, who God has blessed you with.
Aside from God, there is nothing I love more than family. The relationships I have with them, the memories we've made and the life (good and bad) that we have gone through together. Yes, I have been hurt many times by family, as we all have. But I'm starting to let that go, with God's help. I'm starting to realize the importance of family and friends and I'm going to challenge myself to really focus on cherishing all the good times we share. We need to let go of what/who may have hurt us, and forgive. Life is short.
If each of us were to truly live each day as our last, as cliche as it may sound, we would have completely transformed relationships. Our marriages would look different, our family dynamics would look different and the relationships with our friends would look different. All these differences would be positive and encouring to others.
I am going to hold myself accountable for the way I view and treat the relationships I have. I will not only love with all I have, but I will enjoy every minute and I will forgive. I hope you will too. Life is short.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Our story
I haven't quite decided which topic I want to do for my next post, so I decided I would take some time to introduce you to our story. So here is the story of how I became Mrs. Seth Welch :)
First off, both my husband and I come from large, wonderful families. I am the youngest of 5 children and Seth is the youngest of 4. We love every aspect of being apart of large families and are looking forward to having a large family of our own one day.
I'm originally from a small town in Virginia and Seth is a born and raised South Carolina native (a southern boy, just the way I like 'em hehe).
The summer going into my junior year of high school, my family moved to SC for my dads job. I was the only sibling that was still in school and I was NOT a happy camper about moving. I loved our home with lots of acres in the country, I didn't want to leave my friends, and I had an amazing Christian school I didn't want to say goodbye to. I was quite content where I was and had my whole future planned out. I thought for sure I'd hate Myrtle Beach, my new school and my new home. Well, I was wrong. Surprisingly I loved my new school, made tons of amazing new friends, and even liked our new house. Things were looking up and that was just the start of it.
Seth is originally from Florence, but when his dad was called to start a church in Myrtle Beach, their family uprooted and began their new journey here. I believe he was around 12 years old at that time. Him and his sister and two brothers went to Calvary Christian School. It is a small school, but a great one.
Seth graduated from Calvary in May of 2006 and I started at Calvary in August of 2006. So, we never actually went to school together, but we both graduated from the same school. Any who, I had heard all about him and the rest of Welch kids, in all the funny stories of previous years at school. He had heard about the new girl in school, also. But, we still hadn't met each other.
Actually, the first time we met was in Walmart (how romantic, right?) He was with a friend and I was with my sister. He didn't say much, but I remember he was in full camo attire, haha.
In the summer of 2007, one of the guys I went to school with (also, one of Seth's friends) called me. Seth happened to be with him that night and somehow Seth and I ended up on the phone with each other. We didn't really know each other, but we completely hit it off. He picked on me and I picked right back. He says that I was funny and that's what caught his attention. (I wonder if he still thinks I'm funny? haha). We seemed to have a similar sense of humor and he made me laugh, a lot! It felt like we ended up talking forever that night. Since he was talking to me on a friends phone, he asked me if he could have my number and if he could call me the next night. I, of course, gave him my number. We ended up talking on the phone every night, for hours on end, for 2 months straight. That right, for two months we talked on the phone and never hung out. I was a chicken. Poor guy tried to hang out with me and I gave him excuse after excuse. I really, really liked him, but I was nervous to hang out with him and confused on how I could like someone I've never hung out with. It's kinda weird, right? Well, that's what I thought at the time.
Finally, after trying and trying, for two months, to hang out with me, Seth gave up. He felt I was pulling him along. I wasn't, but I can see why he felt that way. Now, you think I fought for him and finally agreed to hang out with him, once he told me he was done trying, right? Wrong. I let him go. We went from talking every night for hours, to not talking at all. Pretty dumb of me, huh?
Two months later, we had a fall festival at school to raise money for my senior class. Seth showed up with his brother and some friends. I remember looking at him and thinking how dumb I was for letting him go. I didn't really talk to him much, I was kinda embarrassed, really. When I saw him heading to his truck to leave, I knew I had to do something. I quickly text him and told him I was sorry for everything. He ended up not leaving and came back to talk to me. We (more like "I") decided to finally go on a date.
On November 21st, 2007 he picked me up from my house and we headed to the movies. For whatever reason, there were absolutely no good movies showing (and he was not about to cancel our date) so we ended up watching the Disney movie "Enchanted", haha. He asked me to be his girlfriend, that night, and we've been together ever since.
That was 5 years ago, and I can honestly say I'm more in love with him now, then I was when we first started dating. He is truly my best friend. He's the first one I call, the one I want to share all the exciting things in life with, and the one who I want to grow old with. I am so thankful for the journey we have already taken together and the journey still ahead of us. As I tell my husband all the time, I still have a major crush on him, and I believe I will until the day I die.
We've been married for a little over a year and a half now, and we are living our "happily ever after". <3
--Try looking back on how/when your relationship started, doesn't it bring back the same feelings you had when you first started dating each other? A wise man once told Seth (who then told me), whenever things get tough, go back to how it all first started..that should change your perspective a bit.
Have a great week!! :)
First off, both my husband and I come from large, wonderful families. I am the youngest of 5 children and Seth is the youngest of 4. We love every aspect of being apart of large families and are looking forward to having a large family of our own one day.
I'm originally from a small town in Virginia and Seth is a born and raised South Carolina native (a southern boy, just the way I like 'em hehe).
The summer going into my junior year of high school, my family moved to SC for my dads job. I was the only sibling that was still in school and I was NOT a happy camper about moving. I loved our home with lots of acres in the country, I didn't want to leave my friends, and I had an amazing Christian school I didn't want to say goodbye to. I was quite content where I was and had my whole future planned out. I thought for sure I'd hate Myrtle Beach, my new school and my new home. Well, I was wrong. Surprisingly I loved my new school, made tons of amazing new friends, and even liked our new house. Things were looking up and that was just the start of it.
Seth is originally from Florence, but when his dad was called to start a church in Myrtle Beach, their family uprooted and began their new journey here. I believe he was around 12 years old at that time. Him and his sister and two brothers went to Calvary Christian School. It is a small school, but a great one.
Seth graduated from Calvary in May of 2006 and I started at Calvary in August of 2006. So, we never actually went to school together, but we both graduated from the same school. Any who, I had heard all about him and the rest of Welch kids, in all the funny stories of previous years at school. He had heard about the new girl in school, also. But, we still hadn't met each other.
Actually, the first time we met was in Walmart (how romantic, right?) He was with a friend and I was with my sister. He didn't say much, but I remember he was in full camo attire, haha.
In the summer of 2007, one of the guys I went to school with (also, one of Seth's friends) called me. Seth happened to be with him that night and somehow Seth and I ended up on the phone with each other. We didn't really know each other, but we completely hit it off. He picked on me and I picked right back. He says that I was funny and that's what caught his attention. (I wonder if he still thinks I'm funny? haha). We seemed to have a similar sense of humor and he made me laugh, a lot! It felt like we ended up talking forever that night. Since he was talking to me on a friends phone, he asked me if he could have my number and if he could call me the next night. I, of course, gave him my number. We ended up talking on the phone every night, for hours on end, for 2 months straight. That right, for two months we talked on the phone and never hung out. I was a chicken. Poor guy tried to hang out with me and I gave him excuse after excuse. I really, really liked him, but I was nervous to hang out with him and confused on how I could like someone I've never hung out with. It's kinda weird, right? Well, that's what I thought at the time.
Finally, after trying and trying, for two months, to hang out with me, Seth gave up. He felt I was pulling him along. I wasn't, but I can see why he felt that way. Now, you think I fought for him and finally agreed to hang out with him, once he told me he was done trying, right? Wrong. I let him go. We went from talking every night for hours, to not talking at all. Pretty dumb of me, huh?
Two months later, we had a fall festival at school to raise money for my senior class. Seth showed up with his brother and some friends. I remember looking at him and thinking how dumb I was for letting him go. I didn't really talk to him much, I was kinda embarrassed, really. When I saw him heading to his truck to leave, I knew I had to do something. I quickly text him and told him I was sorry for everything. He ended up not leaving and came back to talk to me. We (more like "I") decided to finally go on a date.
On November 21st, 2007 he picked me up from my house and we headed to the movies. For whatever reason, there were absolutely no good movies showing (and he was not about to cancel our date) so we ended up watching the Disney movie "Enchanted", haha. He asked me to be his girlfriend, that night, and we've been together ever since.
That was 5 years ago, and I can honestly say I'm more in love with him now, then I was when we first started dating. He is truly my best friend. He's the first one I call, the one I want to share all the exciting things in life with, and the one who I want to grow old with. I am so thankful for the journey we have already taken together and the journey still ahead of us. As I tell my husband all the time, I still have a major crush on him, and I believe I will until the day I die.
We've been married for a little over a year and a half now, and we are living our "happily ever after". <3
--Try looking back on how/when your relationship started, doesn't it bring back the same feelings you had when you first started dating each other? A wise man once told Seth (who then told me), whenever things get tough, go back to how it all first started..that should change your perspective a bit.
Have a great week!! :)
Saturday, November 17, 2012
My Lips Are Sealed
Welcome back!! Sorry it's been awhile since I last posted. It's much easier doing a blog when the hubby is out of town. (He was out of town last week when I started my blog.) Anyways, I'm so glad you are back! :) How many of you took the challenge to look for all the things good about your relationship? How many took notes about all the little things your spouse does that you love? I'd love to hear about it and how it helped your relationship grow! :)
So, lately, I've been thinking about how so many people, now a days, make their whole relationship public. We all know the couples that go from "in a relationship", to "it's complicated", to "single", then back to "in a relationship", on their Facebook profiles . All with the same person. This may hurt some feelings, but this is ridiculous. We do not all need to know ALL of your business. Your relationship is between you and your spouse, not both of you and all of cyber space. What upsets me more is when you hear a spouse constantly tearing down their spouse to other people or even online. They tell you about every argument they have. They tell you everything their spouse has ever done wrong. Tell you all the things they hate about their relationship. Tell you how they never have sex anymore. Tell you their spouse is lazy. The list goes on and on. Quite frankly it's tiresome to hear about it. It saddens me, that they both have allowed their relationship to even get to that point. Yes, I said both. It takes two people to make a relationship work, and it takes two people to allow one to fail.
Keep your business, exactly that, your business. When you have a disagreement with your spouse, deal with it together. Talk, discuss, overcome. You may even have it to sleep on it, but definitely work it out. (Side note: that saying about "Never go to sleep mad at each other", that's a bunch of bologna. I personally think it's better to give yourself time to calm down, think about the whole situation, think about how you are going to discuss and handle it, think about what you did wrong, and how you can fix it. That, to me, is much better than staying up all night fighting, and saying things you wish you never had. But like I said, that's my personal opinion.)
Don't go running to your mom, sister, best friend, aunt, cousin or anyone, every time you are in an argument or disagreement. This causes others to get involved in your relationship, which is not good, especially if they only know one side of the story. I know, we as women always seem to feel so much better when we have someone else sharing our feelings or get someone to tell us what a jerk our spouse is being. But, like I said, this is not a good thing. Why, you ask? For one, as I mentioned before, it's between you and your spouse, and only you and your spouse. It also causes whoever you talked to about the issue, to see your spouse in a negative light. (You should want others to think of your man as the best/sweetest man, not a jerk.) Also, once we get things figured out with our spouse, we very rarely go running back to the person we complained to, to let them know that everything is fixed and everything is great again. Therefore, that person may still be thinking negative about your spouse/relationship and then the next time you run to them, the next complaint will add to their thoughts as well. As I said before, no one needs to know that much of your business. You end up getting to much input from others (mostly negative, I'm sure) and all it usually does is upset you more with your spouse. It gives you that temporary satisfaction, but solves nothing.
We as women need to be encouraging, uplifting, and positive when speaking to our man and about our man. They love it! :) Personally, I love sharing to others what sweet thing Seth did for me that day or that I'm proud of his accomplishments and the man he that he is. I don't do it to brag, I do it because I'm proud of the man I call my husband. Do you want to know something I noticed the other day? I noticed that the more I speak positive of my husband or, in his eyes, "brag" about him, the more he does those sweet things. As I said before, men love it! Men want to feel respected by their lady, and in return they show love to her. (If you haven't already read it, I highly recommend the book Love & Respect. Click here for more info and to learn more about how men and women feel loved.)
Be cautious of what you say about your husband. Do not join in the conversation, at work, when all the ladies are complaining about their husbands. Simply walk away, or when they ask you about your man, don't add in by saying negative things, but say something positive about him. If you continually speak negative about him, you will start thinking negative about him. You don't want your man to be at work complaining to all his buddies about you, do you? So why then, do you think it's OK for you to do it? Both of you need to be aware of what you say about each other and to each other. Words are extremely powerful. It's not worth it to ruin your relationship, because you could not keep your lips sealed.
Remember: Keep control of your lips and be mindful of what you say. Do you want to be a positive person in your man's life, or a negative person? Just some food for thought. Go out there and be uplifting and encouraging to your man and those around you!
Have a great weekend! :)
So, lately, I've been thinking about how so many people, now a days, make their whole relationship public. We all know the couples that go from "in a relationship", to "it's complicated", to "single", then back to "in a relationship", on their Facebook profiles . All with the same person. This may hurt some feelings, but this is ridiculous. We do not all need to know ALL of your business. Your relationship is between you and your spouse, not both of you and all of cyber space. What upsets me more is when you hear a spouse constantly tearing down their spouse to other people or even online. They tell you about every argument they have. They tell you everything their spouse has ever done wrong. Tell you all the things they hate about their relationship. Tell you how they never have sex anymore. Tell you their spouse is lazy. The list goes on and on. Quite frankly it's tiresome to hear about it. It saddens me, that they both have allowed their relationship to even get to that point. Yes, I said both. It takes two people to make a relationship work, and it takes two people to allow one to fail.
Keep your business, exactly that, your business. When you have a disagreement with your spouse, deal with it together. Talk, discuss, overcome. You may even have it to sleep on it, but definitely work it out. (Side note: that saying about "Never go to sleep mad at each other", that's a bunch of bologna. I personally think it's better to give yourself time to calm down, think about the whole situation, think about how you are going to discuss and handle it, think about what you did wrong, and how you can fix it. That, to me, is much better than staying up all night fighting, and saying things you wish you never had. But like I said, that's my personal opinion.)
Don't go running to your mom, sister, best friend, aunt, cousin or anyone, every time you are in an argument or disagreement. This causes others to get involved in your relationship, which is not good, especially if they only know one side of the story. I know, we as women always seem to feel so much better when we have someone else sharing our feelings or get someone to tell us what a jerk our spouse is being. But, like I said, this is not a good thing. Why, you ask? For one, as I mentioned before, it's between you and your spouse, and only you and your spouse. It also causes whoever you talked to about the issue, to see your spouse in a negative light. (You should want others to think of your man as the best/sweetest man, not a jerk.) Also, once we get things figured out with our spouse, we very rarely go running back to the person we complained to, to let them know that everything is fixed and everything is great again. Therefore, that person may still be thinking negative about your spouse/relationship and then the next time you run to them, the next complaint will add to their thoughts as well. As I said before, no one needs to know that much of your business. You end up getting to much input from others (mostly negative, I'm sure) and all it usually does is upset you more with your spouse. It gives you that temporary satisfaction, but solves nothing.
We as women need to be encouraging, uplifting, and positive when speaking to our man and about our man. They love it! :) Personally, I love sharing to others what sweet thing Seth did for me that day or that I'm proud of his accomplishments and the man he that he is. I don't do it to brag, I do it because I'm proud of the man I call my husband. Do you want to know something I noticed the other day? I noticed that the more I speak positive of my husband or, in his eyes, "brag" about him, the more he does those sweet things. As I said before, men love it! Men want to feel respected by their lady, and in return they show love to her. (If you haven't already read it, I highly recommend the book Love & Respect. Click here for more info and to learn more about how men and women feel loved.)
Be cautious of what you say about your husband. Do not join in the conversation, at work, when all the ladies are complaining about their husbands. Simply walk away, or when they ask you about your man, don't add in by saying negative things, but say something positive about him. If you continually speak negative about him, you will start thinking negative about him. You don't want your man to be at work complaining to all his buddies about you, do you? So why then, do you think it's OK for you to do it? Both of you need to be aware of what you say about each other and to each other. Words are extremely powerful. It's not worth it to ruin your relationship, because you could not keep your lips sealed.
Remember: Keep control of your lips and be mindful of what you say. Do you want to be a positive person in your man's life, or a negative person? Just some food for thought. Go out there and be uplifting and encouraging to your man and those around you!
Have a great weekend! :)
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
The Little Things
Hello again!! First off, I want to say "thank you", to each and every one of you who took the time to read my first post. I hope we can all benefit from this expedition I have taken. I'm excited to see where it leads and I am so thankful for your support. I'm not going to lie, I waited a few days before I shared my post, because I was worried no one would like it. Thanks for proving me wrong, guys! :)
Today, I started to think about the little things in life. It made me think of all the little things we take for granted, the little things we nag about, the little things we miss, and the little things that mean the absolute world to us. Life is made up of A LOT of little things. That may sound like a "duh" statement, but just think about it, really think about it. How many little things do we stress over, that in reality, are not worthy of the stress and anxiety? How many little things do we nag to our spouse about, that usually end up in an argument or at least causes tension? Or how about, how many little things do you actually recognize and take the time to thank God, your spouse, family member or even co-worker?
Why is it that all of us women feel we need to mother our husbands? Yes, men are not at all made like us, but that's the beauty of the relationship between a man and a woman. I know this may come as a newsflash for some of us, but guess what, he already has a mom, he doesn't need another one. You are his wife, the peanut butter to his jelly, the white to his rice, the half that makes him whole, and any other corny comparison you can put in place there. You get my point. Where am I going with this, you ask? I feel like since we try to always mother our husbands, we end up nagging and fretting over little petty things in life, that honestly can be so dumb when you think about it.
I'm going to give some examples of things I've nagged over or heard others nag about:
-"He puts the toilet paper on the wrong way"--just be glad he put a new roll of toilet paper back on AT ALL! I mean seriously. haha
-"He didn't put all the dishes in their proper locations"--again, be thankful he even tried to help you. (side note: if you complain about it every time he tries, he will quit trying)
-"He doesn't put his clothes in the hamper"--make jokes about it until he gets the point. I say this from my own experience, because this very thing irked me so much. I'd laugh when I talked to him about it, saying things like, "really baby, you dropped your pants 2 inches from the hamper, is it that hard to just drop it IN the hamper?". I'd say it all with a smile on my face and a giggle in my voice. He ended up laughing about how he wasn't sure why he did that. Now, he continually tries to make an effort to put them in the hamper. You may think, he's not going to take you serious unless you raise your voice or "show him whose boss", but men respond differently than women. (Most, at least.) Yell at him, and he will shut you out. Talk with him, and he will listen. (Even, if he doesn't respond, he is listening and it WILL sink in).
All those scenarios may seem like insignificant issues, but all those little issues build up, if you let it. Don't let petty issues ruin your relationship!
Instead, look for all those little things you can be thankful for. For instance, the other day my husband called me at work and asked if I would ride with him to pick up a check from a client (he's self-employed). He said it was for no reason, other than the fact he enjoyed my company and wanted to spend time with me. That, to me, is a "little things mean the most" moment. He's surprised me at work, occasionally, with "just because" flowers. Another thing he does, especially recently, is ask me to join him hunting. I do not enjoy one thing about hunting. It's cold, you can't talk, your phone dies (because you've been playing on it, out of boredom), and did I mention, it's cold. But guess what, I go because he asked me. I go because I love seeing him enjoy something he's passionate about. I go because it's a way to spend time with him. I go, simply because I love him. Does he realize I don't enjoy it? Yes. Do I complain about it while I'm with him? No. You do things you don't necessarily love, because you simply love that person.
The same applies for him doing things with and for me. Even if he has no interest in it, he does it because he knows that's what I love and enjoy. Love is all about give and take. It's also about picking your battles.
Choose today to look for the things in life that fit into the "little things mean the most" category, and let him know how much it means to you.
Talk with you soon!
-Laura
Today, I started to think about the little things in life. It made me think of all the little things we take for granted, the little things we nag about, the little things we miss, and the little things that mean the absolute world to us. Life is made up of A LOT of little things. That may sound like a "duh" statement, but just think about it, really think about it. How many little things do we stress over, that in reality, are not worthy of the stress and anxiety? How many little things do we nag to our spouse about, that usually end up in an argument or at least causes tension? Or how about, how many little things do you actually recognize and take the time to thank God, your spouse, family member or even co-worker?
Why is it that all of us women feel we need to mother our husbands? Yes, men are not at all made like us, but that's the beauty of the relationship between a man and a woman. I know this may come as a newsflash for some of us, but guess what, he already has a mom, he doesn't need another one. You are his wife, the peanut butter to his jelly, the white to his rice, the half that makes him whole, and any other corny comparison you can put in place there. You get my point. Where am I going with this, you ask? I feel like since we try to always mother our husbands, we end up nagging and fretting over little petty things in life, that honestly can be so dumb when you think about it.
I'm going to give some examples of things I've nagged over or heard others nag about:
-"He puts the toilet paper on the wrong way"--just be glad he put a new roll of toilet paper back on AT ALL! I mean seriously. haha
-"He didn't put all the dishes in their proper locations"--again, be thankful he even tried to help you. (side note: if you complain about it every time he tries, he will quit trying)
-"He doesn't put his clothes in the hamper"--make jokes about it until he gets the point. I say this from my own experience, because this very thing irked me so much. I'd laugh when I talked to him about it, saying things like, "really baby, you dropped your pants 2 inches from the hamper, is it that hard to just drop it IN the hamper?". I'd say it all with a smile on my face and a giggle in my voice. He ended up laughing about how he wasn't sure why he did that. Now, he continually tries to make an effort to put them in the hamper. You may think, he's not going to take you serious unless you raise your voice or "show him whose boss", but men respond differently than women. (Most, at least.) Yell at him, and he will shut you out. Talk with him, and he will listen. (Even, if he doesn't respond, he is listening and it WILL sink in).
All those scenarios may seem like insignificant issues, but all those little issues build up, if you let it. Don't let petty issues ruin your relationship!
Instead, look for all those little things you can be thankful for. For instance, the other day my husband called me at work and asked if I would ride with him to pick up a check from a client (he's self-employed). He said it was for no reason, other than the fact he enjoyed my company and wanted to spend time with me. That, to me, is a "little things mean the most" moment. He's surprised me at work, occasionally, with "just because" flowers. Another thing he does, especially recently, is ask me to join him hunting. I do not enjoy one thing about hunting. It's cold, you can't talk, your phone dies (because you've been playing on it, out of boredom), and did I mention, it's cold. But guess what, I go because he asked me. I go because I love seeing him enjoy something he's passionate about. I go because it's a way to spend time with him. I go, simply because I love him. Does he realize I don't enjoy it? Yes. Do I complain about it while I'm with him? No. You do things you don't necessarily love, because you simply love that person.
The same applies for him doing things with and for me. Even if he has no interest in it, he does it because he knows that's what I love and enjoy. Love is all about give and take. It's also about picking your battles.
Choose today to look for the things in life that fit into the "little things mean the most" category, and let him know how much it means to you.
Talk with you soon!
-Laura
Monday, November 5, 2012
Welcome!
Hi everyone! I'm super excited to start this blog. I have never had a blog or even followed one, but times are changing and here I am :) My name is Laura and I'm 22 years old. I'm married to an amazing man named Seth. We got married April 23, 2011. Every single day I realize how truly blessed I am to be married to such an amazing man. He's my best friend! :) I know most of you may think, "that's only because you are in the honeymoon phase, things will change with time". If that's what you thought, then I'm glad you are here!
This thought process is the whole reason I decided to begin this blog. Lately, I have felt so burdened by failed marriages, marriages on the rocks, those with unhealthy relationships and those who feel like relationships are worthless. I'm here to give all of those people hope! I'm not here to brag about my marriage or tell you why yours stinks, I'm simply here to encourage and motivate you to work towards an amazing relationship that will last a lifetime.
No, I do not have all the answers. No, I do not have 50 years of marriage under my belt. No, I am not a marriage counselor. BUT, I am a happily married woman who works everyday to improve myself and my marriage.
Yes, marriage is hard at times (or for some of us, it may be hard all the time), but marriage is not meant to be painstakingly difficult. It's just lots of little positive things that, build up to be one big GREAT thing. Sad thing though, is that most of us do the opposite. We turn marriage into lots of little negative things, that create one big AWFUL thing. Now tell me, which sounds more exciting? A great thing or an awful thing? I would hope most of you want great things in life, as do I. So why do we focus on all the negative things in our life and our marriage?
Through this blog I will share tips, advice and cute/fun relationship ideas. I hope to help rekindle the spark in your relationship, to help strengthen the love and respect that's already in your relationship, and to hopefully improve the relationships you have with others in your life, along with your spouse.
I'm excited to share my thoughts, my life and my journey through marriage, with each of you! Hopefully you will do the same in return :)
Remember: focus on the positives in your relationship. Push aside all the negatives in you spouse/relationship, for one week, and just focus on everything great about it. I promise, you will notice a difference in how your feel about your spouse/relationship once that week is over. Keep a journal of all the great things you noticed and share it with him. He may not be overly enthusiastic like us women would be, but I am certain he will appreciate it and it will make an impact on him. Just give it a go and let me know how it works out for you!
Talk with you soon and thanks again for stopping by! :)
-Laura
This thought process is the whole reason I decided to begin this blog. Lately, I have felt so burdened by failed marriages, marriages on the rocks, those with unhealthy relationships and those who feel like relationships are worthless. I'm here to give all of those people hope! I'm not here to brag about my marriage or tell you why yours stinks, I'm simply here to encourage and motivate you to work towards an amazing relationship that will last a lifetime.
No, I do not have all the answers. No, I do not have 50 years of marriage under my belt. No, I am not a marriage counselor. BUT, I am a happily married woman who works everyday to improve myself and my marriage.
Yes, marriage is hard at times (or for some of us, it may be hard all the time), but marriage is not meant to be painstakingly difficult. It's just lots of little positive things that, build up to be one big GREAT thing. Sad thing though, is that most of us do the opposite. We turn marriage into lots of little negative things, that create one big AWFUL thing. Now tell me, which sounds more exciting? A great thing or an awful thing? I would hope most of you want great things in life, as do I. So why do we focus on all the negative things in our life and our marriage?
Through this blog I will share tips, advice and cute/fun relationship ideas. I hope to help rekindle the spark in your relationship, to help strengthen the love and respect that's already in your relationship, and to hopefully improve the relationships you have with others in your life, along with your spouse.
I'm excited to share my thoughts, my life and my journey through marriage, with each of you! Hopefully you will do the same in return :)
Remember: focus on the positives in your relationship. Push aside all the negatives in you spouse/relationship, for one week, and just focus on everything great about it. I promise, you will notice a difference in how your feel about your spouse/relationship once that week is over. Keep a journal of all the great things you noticed and share it with him. He may not be overly enthusiastic like us women would be, but I am certain he will appreciate it and it will make an impact on him. Just give it a go and let me know how it works out for you!
Talk with you soon and thanks again for stopping by! :)
-Laura
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